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394,118 notes

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

(Source: leethepace, via legit-humour)

259,782 notes

how to boys

boobbryar:

foie:

  • greet
  • chat
  • chat
  • chat
  • joke
  • joke
  • joke
  • joke
  • compliment appearance
  • compliment personality
  • flirt
  • flirt
  • flirt
  • hug
  • hug
  • hug
  • hug
  • hug
  • hug
  • amorous hug
  • amorous hug
  • first kiss
  • kiss
  • kiss
  • kiss
  • make out
  • make out
  • make out
  • make out
  • woo-hoo
  • woo-hoo
  • woo-hoo
  • propose

it took me a good 20 seconds of reading to get this was a sims reference

(via beyoncesbackside)

489,721 notes

wonnderr-lusttt:

looow-tus:

undftdaniel:

defend-sissy-boy-emo:

jadelyn:

holypuckingcow:

abbysetcetera:

Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own. 

and mixing them with vodka

At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.

And then regretting your decisions the next morning.

Because you have to work.

and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.

and vodka

(Source: asexualarmin, via iwillmindfuckyou)